Who cares?

My daughter finishes primary school in two weeks so I found myself frantically diary planning this morning to accommodate leavers' plays, assemblies and celebratory events, which sit squarely in the working day.

I'm self employed and pretty autonomous, and while that offers flexibility to be present for my children where possible, there are internal (and economic) costs in terms of trying to reconcile the irreconcilible demands of being a mum who also works.

This is not a new story. But it's a narrative that needs retelling to address systemic inequities.

The gendered issue of unpaid caregiving

I'm co-founding a social enterprise alongside fellow former charity founder turned coach, Ruth Jackson, to support women's career trajectories in the painful points where work, life and wellbeing collide. We've just put out a survey to capture women's voices and we're reviewing and assimilating pertinent data to understand the landscape and the gaps in support.

I came across an uncomfortable phrase in government economic reports last week, which defined unpaid labour and caregiving as 'economically inactive'. It didn't land well. Particularly given that the UN reported women do at least 2.5 times more household care work than men, and the rigid working landscape doesn't support more equitable distribution. 

This is a gendered issue given that The Dad Shift campaign in 2024 reported that fewer that 2% of new dads have benefitted from shared parental leave and the Motherhood Penalty reveals that mothers lose an average of £65,618 in pay by the time their first child turns five, according to ONS stats.

An uncomfortable impasse

This creates an impasse, given the rising cost of living and demand for multiple salary incomes in families, and it's worth noting that the UK's childcare costs remain among the highest in the world, with the OECD reporting that 23% of the average wage is spent on childcare in the UK (2023).

Unpaid caregiving doesn't exist solely in the realm of parenthood, as it also includes supporting people with disabilities and caring for older people - which mainly falls on women's shoulders. Indeed, the 'sandwich generation' of midlife, where women find themselves caring for children and elderly parents, exacerbates competing demands. It's no surprise that women are leaving the workforce in droves due to lack of support in menopause, which means organisations are losing vital critical skills and knowledge, as well as signficant economic potential.

Caregiving doesn't count

Through the societal lens of governmental economic reports, caregiving and unpaid labour is invisible and remains unvalued. This translates as caregiving doesn't count, yet it is the backbone of society and intrinsic to capitalism as it enables 'economic activity'.

The architecture of the employment landscape, and the societal constructs of legislation, policy and culture place impossible, irreconcilible demands on women who find themselves stifled by the idealistic notion of 'having it all' - which mostly translates in the relentlessness of daily life as 'doing it all' (or at least the majority of it).

So, while the title is rhetorical, it urges us to review and reimagine the way we are all living and the systems in which we exist. It also asks, how can we support women through the chapters of life where work and wellbeing do not sit tidily together? I attended a national webinar last week which suggested there aren't many obvious support services available specifically aimed at women's wellbeing in the context of work, so I'd say that speaks volumes.

And we can only shift these inequities if we continue to speak up collectively, examine the data, challenge the narrative, question the systems in which we operate and provide appropriate support where it's needed most.

Watch this space for more information about meaningful, relational support for women as they navigate the complexities of a world where work, life and wellbeing rarely align.